awaiting my death lyrics – esoteric

windows of shattered dreams.
laid out before me.
my broken reflection hauntingly stares back,
as once again i pick up the pieces of my mind.

rebuilding myself again.
and i know what is done.
the smaller pieces lost.
they used to be large,
but now they are gone.

i cannot find my hope, my joy or my life,
just empty splinters embedded in my mind.
causing me pain, i grimace in awe at the overwhelming pain.
caused by what i’ve lost, by what has been destroyed.

my scars start to bleed.
from my wounds of sorrow,
i watch the blood run.
a release of my self-hate,
and still the blood flows:

scarred all over my body.
with each scar comes a memory of pain.
though it’s hard to tell now, they all look the same.
awaiting the day when my blood is no more,
maybe then the pain will be gone.
i await my death with both relief and with fear,
i sense that my shattered mind knows it is near.

[music – greg. autumn 1993]
[lyrics – greg. 9/1993]

/ esoteric lyrics