well i was eating my breakfast late one tuesday night,
when i witnessed an event that really couldn’t have been right.
my bacon eggs and biscuits were as tasty as could be,
when much to my surprise they started talking to me.
well i almost lost my stomach on the kitchen floor,
’cause i’d never eaten something that could talk to me before.
but i said that i was sorry, and they said it was ok
and just to be polite i sat down to hear what they had to say…
refrain: they said, “son you’ve got a message from the powers that be,
and as we speak they’re making deals for you with mtv,
so write a song about a girlie on your electric guitar,
and leave it to the boys on top to make you into a rock’n’roll
i gotta tell ya i was startled when i heard that news,
i got to thinkin’ it may be time to start a-cuttin’ back on booze,
but my breakfast it kept tellin’ me my head was clear,
so just to be quite sure i went and grabbed another beer.
boy, that beer sure tasted good,
and when i finished, wha’d’ya know,
my bacon eggs and biscuits yelled, “i told you so!”
so i picked up my guitar and wrote a couple of tunes,
wrote most of ’em about this crazy guy named jim that i knew…
on the advice of my breakfast,
i took my songs into town,
and i spent some time and money tryin’ to get that trendy sound…
somethin’ hip and somethin’ groovy’s just what i was lookin’ for,
and when i got the sound i wanted i took my record to the stores.
well the store clerks, they all told me that my chances were real slim,
that my songs were kinda stupid, and who the h*ll is jim?
so i gave ’em each a copy, and i headed on my way,
guess that’s just what i get for talkin’ to my breakfast anyway…
well i never got too famous,
and i never was a star..
sorry, jim old buddy,
who cares where the h*ll y’are.
i’ve got the sky, i’ve got the mountains,
and with a little beer i’m set,
and i eat bacon, eggs, and biscuits
every godd*mn chance i get.
(refrain x 2)