hail to thee fat person lyrics – allan sherman

hail to thee, fat person
i would like to explain how it came to p*ss that i got fat.
ladies and gentlemen, i got fat as a public service.
when i was a child, my mother said to me,
“clean the plate, because children are starving in europe.”
and i might point out that that was years before the marshall plan
was ever heard of.
so i would clean the plate, four, five, six times a day.
because somehow i felt that that would keep the children from starving
in europe.
but i was wrong. they kept starving. and i got fat.
so i would like to say to every one of you who is either skinny
or in some other way normal–
when you walk out on the street, and you see a fat person,
do not scoff at that fat person. oh no!
take off your hat. hold it over your heart.
lift your chin up high. and in a proud, happy voice say to him,
“hail to thee, fat person!
you kept us out of war

/ allan sherman lyrics