if only… lyrics – anasarca

[based on “if only:” by christina m. riggs]

here i sit in my cell
plain white, stone cold walls.
all alone with my thoughts, memories
and my regrets to keep me company.
wishing only if . . .
dreaming of holding my babies,
hearing their tiny voices and laughter.
watching them grow up.
dreaming i could see and touch
my mom without the gl*ss.
if only . . .
if only . . .
i had reached out!
dreaming of feeling wet gr*ss on bare feet.
the sun on my face, wind in my hair.
watching the stars
feeling peace, hope, happiness, and belonging
if only . . . i’ d reached out!
reality, i’ m alone on death row.
with no sense of hope, peace, or happiness.
day in, day out, i relive my failures, regrets

and that terrible night, knowing i’m
to blame for losing my babies.
realizing that what i dream of most
could have been reality for me

could have been reality for them

if only . . . i’ d reached out!

here i sit in my cell
plain white, stone cold walls.
all alone with my thoughts, memories
and my regrets to keep me company.

wishing only if . . .
i ‘d reached out!

/ anasarca lyrics