internet relationships (are not real relationships) lyrics – mc lars

internet relationships are not real
your heart people steal but ident*ties conceal
so here’s a tale of warning for girls and boys
laptop computers can be dangerous toys

[daryl47:] in the chat room, i inspect. who’s here tonight? asl check
[carolbabe69:] i’m 20/f from the uk. send me an im and i’ll make your day
[daryl47:] i’m 22 and my name is daryl
[carolbabe69:] nice to meet you daryl my name is carol
[daryl47:] what do you like carol?
[carolbabe69:] i like to go to shows. i collect comic books and vintage clothes
what do you like?
[daryl47:] i like to skate. i play rock guitar, but i’m not that great
i like to go on dates and i like to stay up late
i live in san francisco and hang on the haight
[carolbabe69:] do you like the golden gate?
[daryl47:] i did when i was eight
[carolbabe69:] maybe i can come and visit?
[daryl47:] maybe you should wait
see i’m really forty-seven, i have kids and a wife
i weight 300 pounds and i really hate my life
[carolbabe69:] are you serious?
[daryl47:] yes
[carolbabe69:] well, i’ve got a secret too. i’m not 20 years old, i’m really 32
i only have one leg and i like to sniff glue
[daryl47:] you lied to me carol
[carolbabe69:] well, you lied to me too

[chorus]
it’s not normal to have an internet girlfriend.
online relationships are really just pretend
unplug your heart, upgrade your system.
get, get off the internet

bob went on myspace for hours a day.
talking to girls from moscow to la
but people can surprise you from behind a screen
listen to this verse and you’ll see what i mean

[suechick1990:] hi, i’m susie, i like your profile
i checked out your pics and i like your smile
[bobster man:] sounds good susie, i’ll be your friend
we can message each other again and again
[suechick1990:] comment on my pics and post on my page
join my groups and guess my age!
[bobster man:] you must be 18, how could you not?
you can’t be in high school you’re just too hot
[suechick1990:] let me send you pics for your personal collection
i hope they inspire you and give you a smile
susie sent bob pics that were borderline obscene
the cops showed up at his door – she was only 16

[repeat chorus]

if you don’t believe us here’s a final story
about a boy named marcus and his online girlfriend lori
behind the monitor, truth is hidden from your eyes
marcus didn’t know but he was in for a surprise

[marcusp:] we’ve been dating for a while but let’s cut to the chase
i don’t know what you look like, and i want to see your face
[laurie69:] but what does it matter? you know who i am inside
[marcusp:] what if you’re not a woman and this whole time you lied?
[laurie69:] you got me there, i’m not really a female
i’m a guy who pretends to be a girl through email
[marcus:] so this is why it’s bad to meet women online
living life behind the screen is a total waste of time!

[repeat chorus]

internet relationships (are not real relationships)

/ mc lars lyrics