santa’s a fat bitch lyrics – icp

slay bells jingle-lin’, ring jin’ jingle-lin’
horses, horses, horses, horses
slay bells jingle-lin’ ring jin’ jingle-lin’

santa claus suck my b*lls drunk as h*ll
ringin’ bells at the malls dancer prancer
nixon and cupid
i’ma get stupid, ha ha ha

eh, i sat around all night under the chimney
holdin’ my sack like gimme gimme
i know that he’s comin’, he’s comin’
he must lookin’ up nothin’ but rust, dust

turn on my tv the very next day
i see your gettin’ paid leadin the parade
i’m that sniper on the buildin’
listen to my nine go click
santa’s a fat b*tch

santa claus is a fat b*tch
(santa claus is a fat, fat, fat b*tch)
another year and i ain’t get sh*t
(another year i ain’t get sh*t)
if i hear him land on my roof
(ohh, my undertaker)
i’m a bust your *ss in the too-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooth

yeah, i got somethin’ to say about st.nick
f*ck that hoe he never brought jack sh*t
no toys, candy canes, just a lump of coal
so i eat it, ‘cuz there ain’t nuttin’ in the cupboard

so i’ll be quick, quick and brief
all i need for christmas is my two front teeth
i got my teeth, kicked out my mouth
i need a few numbers could you help me out

should of known i guessed i’d show not a steak
no kinda gift i didn’t get sh*t
some say i was bad
but that wasn’t it it’s all because
santa’s a fat b*tch

santa claus is a fat b*tch
(santa f*ck you ‘cuz your a hoe)
another year and i ain’t got sh*t
(another year i ain’t get sh*t)
if i hear him land on my roof
(let’s just get his autograph)
i’m a bust your *ss in the too-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooth

“oh-ho-ho don’t go that way
rudolf that’s the ghetto ho-ho those
boys and girls don’t deserve anything”

santa claus, santa claus where you been?
i see you got cookies and milk on your chin
i guess you had time to collect your ends
you always been down for your rich friends

but rudolf, he don’t bring’ his slay my way
nothin’ but dirt and coal for little j
i guess you couldn’t fit down my chimney shaft
you need to loose some of that fat *ss, eh

all the little rich bays they gettin’ paid
countin’ the toys and ducats they made
me? i got a little half little chunk of dog sh*t
i’m a kill that fat b*tch

santa claus is a fat b*tch
(he ate too much mcdonald’s)
another year and i ain’t get sh*t
(mrs.claus is a hoe)
if i hear him land on my roof
(slice that b*tch in the big red coat)
i’m a bust your *ss in the too-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooth

for the neighborhood
christmas and everything’s whack
not a creature stirrin’ but a f*ckin’ rat
i ain’t hearin’ jingle bells i ain’t hearin’ nuttin’
aint smellin’ no turkey sure as h*ll ain’t no stuffin’

all that i paid wished and prayed
that fat m*th* f*cka would swin’ my way
drop off soldiers and rubber b*lls
but i woke up and found some crusty old drawers

just as i knew it shaft again and again
and again and again
every year i wake up to the same old sh*t
house there be no sign of the fat b*tch

santa claus is a fat b*tch
(santa claus is a fat b*tch)
another year and i ain’t get sh*t
(another year i ain’t get sh*t)
if i hear him land on my roof
(if i hear him land on my roof)
i’m a bust your *ss in the too-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooth

santa claus is a fat b*tch
(santa claus is a fat b*tch)
another year and i ain’t get sh*t
(i ain’t ge-et shi-it)
if i hear him land on my roof
(ro-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoof)
i’m a bust your *ss in the too-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooth

“he’s got a fuzzy whit beard and a great big smile
a bright red hat you can see for a mile
a bag full of goodies and a great big grin
hear comes santa claus again”

/ icp lyrics