the state i am in lyrics – belle & sebastian

i was surprised
i was happy for a day in 1975
i was puzzled by a dream
it stayed with me all day in 1995

my brother had confessed he was gay
it took the heat off me for a while
he stood up with a sailor friend
made it known upon my sister’s wedding day

i got married in a rush
to save a kid from being deported and now she’s in love
i was so touched
i was moved to kick the crutches from my crippled friend

and she was not impressed
’cause i cured her on the sabbath, so i went to confess
when she saw the funny side
we introduced my child bride to whiskey and gin, to whiskey and gin

the priest in the booth had a photographic memory
for all he had heard
and he took all of my sins and he wrote a pocket novel called
“the state i am in”

and so i gave myself to god
there was a pregnant pause before he said okay
now i spend my days turning tables ’round in marks & spencer’s
they don’t seem to mind

i gave myself to sin
i gave myself to providence
and i’ve been there and back again
the state that i am in

i gave myself to sin
i gave myself to providence
and i’ve been there and back again
the state that i am in

oh love of mine, would you condescend to help me
’cause i’m stupid and blind
and desperation is the devil’s work
it is the folly of a boy’s empty mind

and now i’m feeling dangerous
riding on city buses for a hobby is sad
lead me to a living end
i promised that i’d entertain my crippled friend, my crippled friend

i gave myself to sin
i gave myself to providence
and i’ve been there and back again
the state that i am in

i gave myself to sin
i gave myself to providence
and i’ve been there and back again
the state that i am in

i gave myself to sin
i gave myself to providence
and i’ve been there and back again
the state that i am in

i gave myself to sin
i gave myself to providence
and i’ve been there and back again
the state that i am in

i gave myself to sin
and i’ve been there and back again, oh yeah

/ belle sebastian lyrics