twisted christmas carols lyrics – larry the cable guy

these are famous christmas carols i know it aint christmas but i’m goin to do these christmas carols these is good american patriotic christmas carols and god bless america and thanks for comin so:

get a job you b*m b*m b*m

money dont grow on trees you b*m b*m b*m.

silent farts

deadly farts

all was calm

not fer long

oh come on illegal foreigners

come and get dem green cards

and learn some d*mn english

and den how to drive

i wish my mother-in-law get hit by a car

i wish my mother-in-law get hit by a car

i wish my mother-in-law get hit by a car

so i dont have to hear her


blue b*lls

blue b*lls

its dollar night at the t*tty club

see them dance, on my pants

soon it will be bathroom time

you better watch out, i think shes a guy

i aint quite sure but somethin aint right

hilary clinton’s comin to town

donny the retard had an eight pound water head

he was five-foot three

and he said to me

my name’s donny

the first queer santa claus

wore red-leather chaps

and a pair of white shorty-shorts that had a hole in the back

i p*ssed my pants

the toilet was just too far

i drunk too much d*mn beer

i tried to hold it in

but my bladder just gave in

and i p*ssed right through my drawers

right through my wrangler drawers

i p*ssed, i p*ssed my wrangler drawers

git r dun everybody! thanks a lot! come back and see me again thank you!

/ larry the cable guy lyrics